Ayesha Curry

Dear Ayesha Curry

Not that You Asked…

Steve  Jennings/Getty

Steve Jennings/Getty

Dear Ayesha Curry,

Let me start by saying I totally understand what you meant during your interview with Jada Pinkett Smith when you said, “I have zero—this sounds weird—but like male attention. So, then I begin to internalize it and I’m like, ‘Is something wrong with me?’ I don’t want it, but it would be nice to know that like someone’s looking.”

A person’s relationship status doesn’t remove the desire to be desired. We all want to receive affirmation that we are attractive. You aren’t looking for validation, just a little confirmation.

Having said that, there’s a reason that men aren’t in your inbox and it has NOTHING to do with your beauty.

There’s a hidden movement behind the lack of attention you are getting. There’s a force working behind the scenes keeping men at bay and forcing them to respect the boundaries of your marriage. The drought in your inbox is due to a meteorological phenomenon called Steph Curry.

Your husband (with your assistance) has launched a media campaign touting himself as the quintessential husband and father that has been so successful that he has effectively neutralized all threats. Although men are extremely competitive, none of us like to lose and we see no value in embarking on any endeavor that is guaranteed to yield no positive results. There’s a risk versus reward factor to sliding in the DMs and usually the risk of rejection is eclipsed by the potential reward of reciprocation. In your case, there doesn’t appear to be a reward and the risk is beyond rejection, it’s ridicule and possible exposure.

Along with his accomplishments on the court, the platform Steph has provided for you that you have successfully grown so exponentially creates an uneven playing field and tremendous home court advantage. The longevity of your relationship and the bond that you publicly display creates the perception of an impenetrable barrier for would be usurpers. In keeping with the basketball analogy, the image of utter happiness you and your husband portray has made taking a shot in your DMs impossible… there appears to be no open shot to take!

The fact that your husband gets attention from women should be of no consequence. The stereotypes of men in your husband’s position create the misconception that all successful, wealthy, and influential men are open to the advances of other women. With that concept in mind, some women perceive opportunity where none may exist.

To have a husband who is free of scandal involving other women, publicly doting and supportive, and a superb and involved father is basically kryptonite to the advances of other men. There’s no point. Hell, most of the men who others believe may have a chance with you probably would think you were crazy for entertaining them if that chance actually existed.

Again, I get it. We all want confirmation from a variety of sources that we still got it. If your spouse is the only person attracted to you, you may start to wonder if his love for you has caused him to view you through rose-colored lenses. You are a beautiful woman that any sane man admires from a very safe distance. The irony is that every other married or involved man on this planet is trying to create the same illusion of impossibility to keep men out of their women’s DMs!

In closing, your problem isn’t a lack of interest… your problem is that you and your husband have made it clear that there is a total and complete lack of opportunity.

Just My 2 Unsolicited Lincolns.