Send Me a Pic

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"Send me a pic!"

Do you know what happens to a man's mind when he develops an obsession or addiction to pornography? He begins to separate women from their humanity. Women are no longer human; they become inanimate objects that these men use as tools to achieve pleasure.

There is NO difference between a man who is addicted to porn and a man who solicits provocative pictures from a woman he's dating... none.

Once you snap that picture and click "send" on your phone, you cease to be a human being in the mind of the man who receives your picture. Your image gets stored on his phone along with the other trophies he's collected. Not only will he use those images for his own gratification, he will share those pictures with other men. How do I know? Because I've seen those pictures and I've seen men share those pictures at the barber shop, the gym, and any other place where men congregate. Funny thing is that the man doesn't say, let me show you a picture of my lady or my wife. No, he says, check out what this chick I'm messing with sent me. That private picture you shared is now on public display. The men who see the picture reward the man with accolades and affirmation. Your picture has just helped him prove his manhood to his peers.

Congratulations... you're a trophy.

He doesn't need a picture of you. He needs to spend time with you. He needs to create an emotional bond with you that supersedes his physical attraction to you. You want your image etched into his heart; not his brain. By sending those pictures you are communicating to him that you are perfectly okay with being an object. I know it feels good to receive compliments, but do you really want your body to be the focus of his desire for you? Don't you want to be more than an image?

I don't care what excuses he gives for soliciting the picture. Sending a provocative picture of yourself to a man you are dating immediately lowers your value in his eyes.

Ladies, let's talk about the sexy pics you post without solicitation. You're an adult, ladies. You are free to do whatever you want and I will never suggest a woman's style of dress dictates how she is treated. However, understand that despite the fact that everyone loves to claim that God alone can judge them, that can't be further from the truth. We all have the power to judge anyone we want. If I scroll through your profile and I see pictures that feature your body parts and not your face, I'm judging... right or wrong, I'm judging. I'm going to assume that your body is all you have to offer. Grant it, I could be VERY wrong, but that will be my perception. There is a way to be sexy, but not provocative. If you are unbothered by the thoughts or perceptions of strangers, by all means, carry on!

Bottom-line, don't send a man any picture that you're not comfortable being shared. If he asks you to send him a picture, my suggestion is that you direct him to one of your social media accounts or let him know you will be happy to take a selfie with him the next time you see him. If that won't suffice, you may want to reevaluate the nature of your relationship.

Just my 2 unsolicted Lincolns.